Start with yourself: how to regain inner strength, honesty and spiritual support

Sometimes a person gets tired of waiting. First, he waits for his loved ones to hear his pain. Then he hopes that the partner will become warmer, the parents will finally acknowledge the past, the children will begin to respect, circumstances will change, fate will become softer, and God will give a sign after which everything will immediately become clear.

Many years may pass in this wait. Outwardly, life goes on: a person works, takes care of his family, answers messages, goes about his business, reads books, sometimes prays, sometimes seeks practice, sometimes he tells himself that everything will change soon. But the same point remains inside: let something change on the outside first, then I can live differently.

This is where the real spiritual turn begins. It begins not with self-flagellation and not with a crude accusation “it’s your own fault.” It begins with a more honest question: where did I leave my soul? Where did I agree against my heart, remain silent against the truth, call cold love, patience wisdom, fear caution, fatigue humility? Where did I give my power to expectation and begin to live as if the key to my life was only in the hands of others?

Starting with yourself means regaining your center. Don’t blame yourself for everything that happened. Do not justify those who caused pain. To start with yourself means to see your part where it really is, and stop giving your life to the past, other people’s decisions, grievances and expectations of justice.

This idea sounds simple, but there is a lot of maturity within it. Guilt compresses the heart and makes a person weaker. Responsibility works differently: it brings back the breath and says calmly: yes, part of my pain came through other people, but my next step still remains mine.

This is where spiritual practice begins. Real practice begins with inner honesty - and then for the first time a person stands before the Supreme not only with his request, but also with his truth.

Dharma, karma and self-honesty

In the Vedic tradition there is a deep concept of dharma. Dharma is a person’s right position in life. The place where his heart, conscience, speech and action begin to look in one direction. When a person lives closer to his dharma, an axis appears within.

When a person moves away from dharma, he begins to be controlled by fear, resentment, the desire to prove his worth, family scenarios, the habit of tolerating or attacking. He may be doing the right things on the outside, but still lose the light on the inside.

Karma is the connection between a state, a choice, a word, an action and a consequence. If an action is born out of fear, the fear continues. To be clear, life receives a different vector. Therefore, the spiritual path begins with purifying the source of action.

For women and men

For a woman, the topic “start with yourself” is especially painful. She is often taught to be capable, comfortable with her family, and successful in the world. A woman often starts with herself: she puts off her pain first, she cancels her rest first, she lowers her voice in order to maintain peace.

True feminine spirituality begins with returning to the body, breath, heart and simple inner truth: I came into this life not only to endure. I came to live, love, create, serve from my heart.

For a man, starting with himself means returning the real internal axis, where the word is again connected to action, and strength becomes reliability, not rudeness.

Both women and men come to the same threshold: to stop expecting life to change without their inner participation.

Yag’ya as a space of honesty

Yag’ya especially accurately reveals the meaning of “start with yourself.” Outwardly, this is a fiery practice of offering, mantra and appeal to the Supreme. But internally it is a person’s meeting with his intention. A mature yag begins when a person, along with a request, brings his truth to the fire.

He asks for love and looks where he closed his heart. He asks for wealth and looks where he lives in fear. He asks for peace in the family and looks at what words and insults he brings into the house. So practice becomes a way to put yourself in order before the Supreme.

Spiritual practice as internal support

Prayer takes you out of the inner noise. The mantra collects the mind. Meditation brings attention back. Puja helps to express respect and gratitude. Yag’ya connects the request with the purification of intention before the Supreme.

From this moment on, the main thing changes - the position of a person within his own life. He no longer stands at a closed door, waiting for someone to open it for him. He returns to his real self. Then spiritual practice becomes not an adornment of life, but its internal support.

Starting with yourself is the first law of spiritual maturity. A person stops waiting for the world to prove his worth to him. He regains his center, and with it order, dignity and quiet strength.

© KailashDham